Is it easy to spot red flags in a relationship? Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. While there are personal red flags for all of us, some of which can be quite humorous, there are others that can be really easy to spot.
Before you get too involved in a relationship, if you see red flags, run! Yes, there are some red flags you can talk about and see if it really is what it seems but for the most part, a red flag is a red flag forever. Real change doesn’t happen overnight and some are simply deal-breakers. Promises to change mean nothing unless they are backed up by real action.
Jealousy, Possessiveness, and Control
Let’s jump right in with a tough one! A little bit of jealousy can be fine in a relationship but when the jealous behavior becomes a pattern, this is a very big red flag. Of course, if you are flirting with everyone you see, there is good reason for your partner to feel jealous, and perhaps you are the one causing the red flags in the relationship.
But if that is not the case, jealous behavior with possessiveness is a real red flag in a relationship. Along with this there can be other aspects that fit with this such as control. When your partner wants to control the little things, they can ultimately have big consequences. While a bit of advice from one partner to another is natural, when your partner tries to tell you who you can or cannot spend time with, what you should wear, and even what you should eat, you should be seeing red flags everywhere!
It might begin with something small, but it is not a very big leap to go from this kind of behavior to isolating you from those you were previously close to including family and friends. The road of jealousy, possessiveness and control leads in one direction and that is to emotional abuse – a place you do not want to go to!
Is your partner falling in love too fast? Are they filling your head with grandiose love declarations? Are they really going to stick around or are they going to break your heart into tiny pieces?
Sure, overly attentive or what’s also known as “love bombing” early on in a relationship should scream ‘run away, and run fast!’. But, you shouldn’t settle for the other extreme either. If he’s too busy doing his own thing, staying out late with the guys, wasting time on some online casino game at WildCardCity in the hope of winning money – you know you’re with the wrong guy.
People who become very invested in a relationship at the very beginning and tell you they love you when it is much too early to do so are love bombing. Those who genuinely fall in love quickly are certainly lacking boundaries however with love bombing there is an element of manipulation that you might not see at the beginning. Love bombers are often narcissistic and are known to be emotionally abusive people.
Although it might be hard to know at the beginning of a relationship when you’re both on your best behavior, do keep your eyes open so that you don’t end up in a toxic relationship.
Relationships with Others
It is so important to see what kind of relationship your partner has with others. If they have bad relationships with their family and even with their friends, watch out!
Although there is sometimes a very good reason why someone keeps distant from their family and that is okay, you can then look at their other relationships. Do they have friends? Can they maintain close friendships? Your friends can be the family you choose, and that is okay too. But when the issues with family are coming from your partner or coming from both sides, keep your eyes wide open!
How do you Treat People in the Service Industry?
Another way to see how your partner interacts with others is to see how they treat those around them. If your partner shouts at the waiter, they will eventually shout at you too. It might not happen today, and it might not happen tomorrow, but if you ever disappoint them, it will happen.
You can learn a lot about someone by the way they treat service people. You can see if they feel entitled, and where they see themselves in relation to others. Do they talk down to those they consider beneath them? Will they one day consider you beneath them?
Who are they Really?
We meet a lot of people online and sometimes there are red flags even before we meet. Someone who lies in their dating profile, even if it is about their interests, age or height, is someone who might lie again to get what they want.
Starting a relationship on the basis of a lie is a massive red flag. Run, run away!!
Although there are just 5 relationship red flags mentioned here; know that there are many others. If something feels off to you or makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t ignore it!