There are many social situations which will strike terror into the heart of an introvert. Performing a speech at a wedding. Being cajoled into singing in a karaoke bar. Delivering a lecture to a roomful of business associates. All of these can be overcome with access to notes (or a songsheet containing easy to follow lyrics.) But one area which will trounce these in terms of potential trauma is dating. Many introverts really get themselves into a spin about the prospect of appearing confident enough to charm a potential date and mastering the art of scintillating conversation for lengthy periods. Whether you’re looking for girlfriend online or meeting for an actual rendezvous, here are four tips it would be worthwhile taking on board.
Do some advance planning on a conversation
More than anything else, introverts fear the prospect of the moment when conversation grinds to a halt and leaves an awkward silence. If not countered quickly, this void will do so much more than cause toes to curl. It could undermine your entire date, creating a sense you are mismatched and both of you should really be somewhere else. With someone else. The good news is, it can be relatively easy to do some preparation to keep these dreaded lulls to a minimum. With social media, it’s possible to undertake a modicum of preliminary research about your partner’s background. Find out a little about hobbies and interests. Are they passionate about anything in particular, such as playing a musical instrument or playing a particular sport? This information can be used as conversation starters.
Ensure you remain comfortable
One of the most important aspects of being able to establish a good rapport while dating is actually very straightforward. Whether you are introverted or not, it is essential you feel relaxed in your situation. When it comes to feeling at ease, gaining the confidence to engage in flowing conversation, you must be able to focus on the task in hand. Think how much more difficult it would be to overcome your shyness if you are fretting about other aspects, such as wishing you’d worn different attire or better-fitting shoes. If you show up to your date in a smart outfit which you partner compliments, your confidence will instantly be boosted.
Always be attentive
While all it’s common for an introvert to feel like the weaker link in the chain and therefore under pressure to be seen as the one remedying the situation with effusive chat, connecting should always be two-way. So when you’re not actually the person chatting, ensure you give the impression you are equally invested in this conversation. Nod enthusiastically at the appropriate moments, and don’t feel obliged to sit back and wait until it’s your turn. It’s only natural to feel compelled to pitch in and interrupt, if necessary. As well as being attentive, always seek openings where you can inject humor into the proceedings. If you can get the other person laughing a lot, this will take a lot of the heat off yourself. A light-hearted atmosphere is always much better at encouraging chat than any sort of friction.
Think of a ‘get out clause’
Never fret about having to put up with an awkward situation where you simply don’t gel with when you’re on a date. Just because you are an introvert is no reason to feel obliged to ‘stick it out’ with someone entirely unsuitable. If at any time you feel as if you would rather be elsewhere, then make a polite excuse and draw things to a close. And then go elsewhere!